Stuff White People (named Lisa) Like #99

#99 Grammar

White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like hunger, being poor, or getting shot. If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be, "people who use their when they mean there. Maybe comma splices, I'm not sure but it's definitely one of the two."

If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it's probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the Oxford Comma and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking that simply stating your anger at the improper use of its.

Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party

Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. "Hey Jill, I'm sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I'm a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?" This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

Don't worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

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<3
me

me and my buddy read this and we are both white; we didnt care one way or the other whether we used right grammar. i am an intellegent person but find no reason other than to make other people happy and i really dont give a shit what other people think about me.

objection

me and my buddy read this and we are both white; we didnt care one way or the other whether we used right grammar. i am an intellegent person but find no reason other than to make other people happy and i really dont give a shit what other people think about me.

Bad whitey, bad!

I am sure there is something there that describes you Mr. Twitch.
whitey check

me and my buddy read this and we are both white; we didnt care one way or the other whether we used right grammar. i am an intellegent person but find no reason other than to make other people happy and i really dont give a shit what other people think about me.

It said white people not gay white people there is a difference.

that could be one of the dumbest things i've ever read. not to mention all the obvious mistakes in it, although i assume they were intentional, who the hell cares?

that could be one of the dumbest things i've ever read. not to mention all the obvious mistakes in it, although i assume they were intentional, who the hell cares?

You should embrace your whiteness more.

Ok, thank you for the laugh, you Lisa, are funny.

That reminds me, I will send Con to get the jacket and sweatshirt sometime soon.

#99 Grammar

White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like ?hunger,? ?being poor,? or ?getting shot.? If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be ?people who use ?their? when they mean ?there.? Maybe comma splices, I?m not sure but it?s definitely one of the two.?

If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it?s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the ?Oxford Comma? and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking that simply stating your anger at the improper use of ?it?s.

Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party

Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. ?Hey Jill, I?m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I?m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?? This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting.

Don?t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.

What's with the ?'s? Fuck grammar. You can't even copy and paste.